1. Randomly get out of your seat and sit on the floor.
2. If the person next to you is quiet, turn and inform them that they are distracting you.
3. Color red dots all over your arm and show the teacher, and tell her/him that you are allergic to School.
4. Take out sock puppets and play with them, and occasionally have them grab your classmate’s hair. When the teacher looks, keep the sock on your hand and point to your classmate and tell the teacher that the classmate is attacking you with puppets.
5. If your teacher walks around the room during the test, cover your test and glare at them suspiciously.
6. When the teacher calls on you to answer a question, talk in a creepy voice and say `I’ll never tell’ and a few questions later raise your hand and ask why you haven’t been allowed to answer a question yet.
7. When coming back from bathroom, walk through the door. Then ask how you got there.
8. Raise your hand and ask if you can be excused to skip class.
9. Meow and bark occasionally.
10. Chew gum in class. If teacher says something, take out packs of gum and start passing out gum.
11. Stand up and introduce yourself at the beginning of class (even though everyone knows you). Inform everyone that you have had `the problem’ for three years now. Then act confused and ask if the class is Alcoholics Anonymous.
12. Shove your heaviest book off your desk. Repeat. Glare at someone else every time the teacher looks at you.
13. Make a cone shape out of paper and glue red tissue paper to the top. Scribble/draw red and orange all over it. Wear it on your head and tell everyone that you’re a volcano.
14. Tell your teacher you don’t need to do your homework because you’re skipping school tomorrow.
15. Write `Gullible’ on a piece of paper. Tape that piece of paper to the floor, ceiling, or chalkboard. Then tell everyone there is gullible written on the ___(floor ceiling or chalkboard).
16. Yell out STOP DROP AND ROLL.
17. If someone speaks over the intercom, curl up in fetal position under your desk and say `It’s the voices again.’
18. Randomly get up and run a lap around the room, then sit down and act as if nothing had happened.
19. Get up and get a tissue, then just stand and stare at the tissue. If asked what you are doing by the teacher, claim that you are having a staring contest with the tissue and you’re sure you are about to win.
20. Lead your class in a sing-a-long.
21. Invent an imaginary hamster. Ask everyone if they would like to hold him.
22. In a creepy voice say to everyone `You will die in seven days’ Act like nothing had happened.
23. Get up to sharpen your pencil or find a tissue, then stand up there and look around. Then cry out `I’m lost ’
24. Ask if you can teach the class.
25. Act like you’re in the army, saluting to teachers and calling them ma’am and sir. March everywhere.
26. If a teacher isn’t already in the classroom, when they enter, inform them that they are late and should report to the principal. Like, say `like,’ like, a lot…like
27. Draw a flipbook at the bottom right corner of your notebook.
28. .Re-enact or make up your very own 50-minute silent movie.
29. Use a kick me sign. As a challenge, see how many people you can put a kick me sign on without them knowing it.
30. Start singing Can you feel the love tonight from the Lion King.
31. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
32. Finish all your sentences with In accordance with the prophecy.
33. End all sentences with .co.uk .
34. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, Sorry, I really prefer it this way .
35. When someone says Have a nice day , tell them you have other plans .
36. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters CHECK YOUR FLY .
37. Shout WOW after every sentence of the lecture.
38. Ask whether you have to come to class.
39. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write Signup Sheet at the top, and start passing it around the room.
40. Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the professor answers.
41. Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, Can you spell that?
42. Disassemble your pen. Accidentally propel pieces across the room while playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. Repeat.
43. Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you’re called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you’re waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to “speak.” When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, “I can’t believe you embarrassed me AGAIN….”
44. Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if you have a question, and mumble your question incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene.
45. Carve a bust of your professor out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the beginning of class. Demand extra credit.
46. Get the whole class to show up a few minutes early, and throw a surprise party for your professor. Insist that you can’t start class until he/she has a piece of cake. Keep asking people when the strippers are going to arrive.
47. Start asking questions in a fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start speaking the fake language too, and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you’re really interested in what you’re discussing. If your professor tries to interrupt or stop you, act annoyed and motion for him/her to quiet down.
48. Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, “Bingo!” Apologize, and explain that you got confused.
49. Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
50. Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
51. Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
52. Superglue coins to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
53. Write fake love notes and slip them into people’s lockers
54. When you use the bathroom, get a LOT of soap on your hands (If it’s the slimy kind), but don’t wash it off, just leave goo all over doorknobs, railings, etc.
55. Screaming gibberish in crowded hallways is always good for a laugh.
56. Run around the school suspiciously with your hands in a gun shape while humming the misson impossible tune.
57. Look at the person next to you for a while then say “your one of them!” then run out the class room.
58. Stand up and pretend you are a flight attendent and review the emergency procedures and exits.
59. name your pen Mr Pen, talk to him often, cry and go mad if Mr pen commits suicide (falls off the table).
60. Put a sign on your desk that says “Out of my mind be back soon” Then go to sleep. If your teacher wakes you up Scream CAN’T YOU READ THE SIGN? then go back to sleep.
61. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)
62. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.
63. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.
64. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”
65. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!!!”
66. Flick pieces of paper around the class.
67. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”
68. Don’t do your Homework.
69. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.
70. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name it Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”
71. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.
72. When handing in your homework, write this paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds at the bottom.
73. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”
74. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.
75. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!”
76. Walk into class dancing the Macarena
77. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room
78. Raise your hand and say “I totally agree” after everything your teacher says
79. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow
80. Speak in French.
81. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was “a disturbance”
82. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well
83. “The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then.”
84. Hand in an essay where every word is mispelt.
85. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”
86. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “the queen is never late, everyone else is simply early”.
87. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”
88. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”
89. Tell yourself knock knock jokes, then laugh loads.
90. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”
91. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”
92. Bring in a year 7 and says he’s your new pet.
93. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.
94. When your teacher asks you a question just stare at them.
95. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.
96. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.
97. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.
98. Glue all their scissors together.
99. Make paperclip jewellery. E.g. necklaces, earrings etc…
100. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”
101. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’
102. Talk to a pen.
103. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T SNOG YOU!”
104. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.
105. Smile. All the time.
106. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger everyday. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”
107. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’
108. When you know the answer, bounce up and down a go ” OOOHH I KNOW THIS”
109. When a teacher calls on you say, ” I forgot”
110. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song.
111. When the teacher is not facing you, the whole class moves their desk forward towards the teacher
112. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!
113. When a teacher asks you a question… Reply “ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!!!”
114. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout “I OBJECT”
115. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder!
116. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats!
117. If you are sure you haven’t passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!
118. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting “Oh no, they’re here. Oh my god. Shit. Shit. Shit. What do I do? Miss/Sir you have to help me! Oh god. They must have found the body! HELP!”
119. When it’s your turn to answer a question… Shout “NEXT!”
120.When you come in late and the teacher asks why you’re late, say “A wizard is never late. nor is he early. he arrives precisely when he means to.”
121. When someone whispers a question, loudly say “STOP CAUSING A SCENE!”
122.Every time the teacher tells you something, suspicously ask “Really?”
No doubt I will definitely start acting suspicious now… (;